I often wonder if, when I was born in Houston Texas in 1970, if those who looked down upon my newborn self thought about what my future would hold. There I was, eyes closed, toothless and tiny, entering a new world of massive changes. Technology was on the rise, Television was in color, man had gone to the moon and the social structure of our nation was evolving into the true dream of the founding fathers. There was this little person, not even twelve hours old, automatically given rights that defined the country as a nation of freedom and equality. Most of the time, it seems like nothing more than a dream to me.
When I was twelve years old, I realized that I was different, through no fault of anyone or the Catholic upbringing of my Mother. I not only realized it, I felt it with my full heart and soul. But I had already heard the words and the torments of “faggot” and “queer” and I was afraid to be different. My interests in the opposite sex was nothing but a facade to hide what society and Christianity made me believe was a “sickness”. I struggled with the battle between my heart and the only world around me, never brave enough to seek out the gay community I knew existed. At one point, when I had the opportunity to live in another country starting at age thirteen, I lived a double life just so that I could live without crying all the time. It was a country that was socially mature and gave me my first experience with true freedom of heart. I returned with my family when I was sixteen years old. Immediately, I felt the pressure and my closet door slammed shut.
Fast forward to today. I'm thirty five years old and still living in Texas. I have been completely out of the closet for years and refuse to ever go back in. I have come to realize that the nation I was born into was not a place of equality or freedom. The United States is still ruled by Grumpy Old People, ancient white men and arrogant elitist zealots. Our own constitution clearly states “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion”, yet it is religion that is dictating to us what is right and wrong, legal and illegal. Worse still, is the obvious “in your face” attitude of Christian leaders who preach how their congregation should vote while their church remains tax exempt, even though 501(c)3 regulations require that churches be politically neutral.
In November, Texas will be voting on a bill to ban same sex marriage. This bill was signed on the grounds of a church by Governor Rick Perry. I therefore suggest that Mr. Perry's signing of the bill be considered illegal as his actions on church grounds respects the establishment of religion as a reason for the ban.
I also suggest to the American people, that any amendment or law in general that restricts equal marriage rights from any part of the population is in direct violation of the fourteenth amendment's first section which reads “All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the state wherein they reside. No state shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any state deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.” I have already heard some conservatives in conversation argue with me that gay marriage is not an issue of rights. If not an issue of rights, then why hasn't there been any legal protections or recognitions for protections to gay couples? If not an issue of rights, then why would there need to be any amendment to define marriage? The idea of defining marriage is a blatant and clear voice denying equal protections to a part of the population.
Traditional Marriage?
Along the path of my Gay life over the past few years, I have heard the term “traditional marriage” so much, that it has become the biggest historical joke. For thousands of years, the tradition of marriage has evolved to fit the society in which it is practiced. Centuries ago, Women were the “properties” of men. A man chose a woman to gain land and livestock in the form of a dowry. Men chose women based on their skills to either work the land or make yarn from wool and other farm type skills. In other “classes”, marriages were arranged to seal treaties or gain land. Children were a commodity and expected to breed so that the family would continue. Most of the time, it was never about love at all. When two people were married because they actually loved one another, the common social structures of the time looked down on such acts unless it was fortunate that the two who were in love were financially or socially compatible. If they were not compatible, they may suffer in poverty.
The industrial revolution pretty much changed all that. Suddenly, Marriage was all about love and two people consented to be together for life because more jobs were available to a national and later, world economy. Tradition was set in the ideas of “courting” where a young couple would spend a nice evening sitting on the front porch.
Then came the advancements of technology and the amazing moving pictures. Though many felt that traditional marriage would be destroyed forever, the young couples moved from the front porch and into the movie houses and night clubs. Courting became dating and women had gained equal voice and vote.
Moving into the 1960's, we enter the realm of tradition being challenged once again in the case of “Loving vs. Virginia”. Here, a white man and a black woman married and were arrested in their home state because they were in violation of the obscenely bigoted “racial integrity” laws of the state which did not allow blacks and whites to marry. They were put on trial for a crime and had to leave Virginia. Christian religion was again used to justify this concept. The judge stated that God had separated the races and did not intend for them to mix. Luckily, they won their case in the supreme court and history was made with another step up in social evolution.
In that same decade, the civil rights movement gained equality for people of all colors and in 1969, stonewall became the pin drop heard around the world.
The here and now
We stand looking at the time of My life. The seventies removed homosexuality from it's list of psychological disorders, but the arrogance was still among us. The 1980's gave us Reagan, AIDS, Jerry Falwell and Anita Bryant. By the way Anita, if you read this, Anti-gay comments while being a spokesperson for a fruit juice, really made you the gayest joke on the planet. Jerry Falwell proclaimed AIDS to be the “wrath of God”, ignoring the innocent children that died of it because their mother's did nothing wrong except get hit by a drunk driver and needed a blood transfusion.
Through the nineties and today, it was the Religious Morons who pounded the living daylights out of the bible and their podiums screaming about “sanctity of marriage” while Fred Phelps desecrated graves and protested funerals of gay people. Today, Freddie is still active in his public indecency, but has added protesting military funerals and involving children of his congregation members.
Sanctity of marriage is still being heard today, but I feel that anybody who has at least one divorce in their past, has no real credibility to argue on that subject. Seriously, if we are to use to laws to protect the sanctity of marriage, then you will have to support illegalizing divorce and making adultery an offense punishable with a prison sentence. That just might get rid of half of congress and senate.
Gay marriage isn't about special rights as the conservatives claim. It's about equal rights, equal protection under the law and showing the world that, yes, the American dream is alive and well.
We are your sons, daughters, nieces, nephews, cousins, aunts, uncles, mothers, fathers and best friends. You, a parent, look at your child. That little piece of immortality, your miracle baby, the light of your life... your flesh and blood. What if your child grows up to be gay, lesbian, bisexual or trans gendered? Would you want your nation to persecute your own child? Would you want to explain to him or her that you voted against their equality? Do you really want to sentence your own to being a second class citizen.
It isn't about what the bible says. It isn't about what someone preaches as being right or wrong. It's about love, hope, charity, freedom, equality and the fantastic diversity that build this nation. Deny one part of our population the equality of others and you begin to strip down the foundation of America into nothing more than rubble and dirt. This nation, if allowed to stagnate under conservative ideals and afraid to change, will become obsolete while the rest of the world progresses around us. Our constitution says that we are equal. Now, do your part to make sure.
